


The Cost of Love

by orphan_account



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: AU, M/M, Psychology, Slight!1984 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 11:19:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6049650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where love is forbidden to the point where saying "I love you" means death, they find each other. (Don't expect too much)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cost of Love

“I love you.”

 

The look of surprise on the boy’s face as the words escape his lips streaks Sunggyu with pain. Everyone knows that in this world, declaring one’s love to another is synonymous to committing suicide.

 

“Sunggyu…” Eyes widening, the boy bites his lower lip. It is a habit of his that Sunggyu finds quite cute, not that he would ever dare tell the boy. What he has said already is enough to get both their families expelled and erased from the Community. His father had worked strenuously to get the Kim clan to where it is situated in the Community today, and for their entire life to crumble because of something as petty but dangerous as love was unthinkable. Nevertheless, there was always a handful of clan leaders fined, exiled, and even executed for Acts of Affection each season, whether it be from a smaller act, such as Holding Hands, or one more severe, such as Hugging. From time to time, officials from a high-ranked clan would be caught committing the Unspeakable Act, resulting in their entire clan being obliterated from the Community.

 

“We cannot disturb the internal balance - the homeostasis - of the Community’s network,” his father would remind Sunggyu every trial. “Affection causes wild connections that disturb the balance and organization of the Community. We cannot let our world collapse because of a whimsical, useless Emotion such as love. Remember that, Sunggyu. Keep the Kim clan unadulterated.”

 

Sunggyu turns his attention back to the boy standing in front of him. “Woohyun. I love you. I want to live my life with you by my side. Don’t you feel the same about me, too?” Sunggyu tries again. his dark brown eyes focused on his, Sunggyu slowly reaches for one of Woohyun’s soft, smooth hands, gently interweaving his fingers with his. “Escaping from the Nam clan at night to see me is no easy task, Woohyun. I thought that I meant something to you.” Sunggyu frowns.

 

Woohyun looks up at the midnight sky before slowly fixing his hazel eyes on Sunggyu’s. “If we are found, it will be over for both of us. You know that, Gyu, with our fathers being opposing clan leaders.”

 

“Hush, my love,” Sunggyu places a finger on Woohyun’s pink, velvety lips with his free hand. “We can keep it a secret. My father is a busy man and he never notices what his useless son is doing, anyways.” Sunggyu forces a smile on his face.

 

  
They hear a distant, low drone of a hoverplane far above them. It leaves a trail of turquoise across the night sky, relaying a message to the Kim clan headquarters. Sunggyu hopes that it is from the Nam clan, and that they are here to take Woohyun back.

 

“They might be looking for you right now, you know.” Sunggyu mutters, heart pounding madly. “Maybe… Maybe we can talk next time. You’re right. It’s too risky. I was stupid.” he prays that Woohyun will use his common sense.

 

“Sunggyu,” Woohyun’s voice softly echoes in his ear. “You’re right. It doesn’t matter to me anymore.”

 

Sunggyu’s heart drops.

 

“It doesn’t matter if they’re looking for me. It doesn’t matter what they think anymore. All that matters now is that you’re right. I do love you.” Woohyun opens his arms, initiating an embrace. An Act of Affection.

 

Woohyun has exposed himself to Sunggyu, and he feels like vomiting for making this happen.

 

‘I’ve done this before,’ he dreadingly tells himself. ‘This is going to be no different.’

 

He knows that he is not fooling anyone. There is a spark with Woohyun that no one else had provided him. Sunggyu remembers the nights he spent with tears descending his face like waterfalls from his eyes, thinking about tonight. With a final “I love you”, Sunggyu forces himself to embrace his lover.

 

Desperate tears are already streaming down Sunggyu’s face when the horde of poison darts pierce Woohyun’s body. Woohyun releases Sunggyu’s body in shock. His face is frozen in an expression of despair.

 

“I’m sorry,” Sunggyu mouths silently as Woohyun collapses onto his knees, eyes rolling to the back of his head. With a final shudder, the heir to the throne of the Nam clan blacks out.

 

“It looked a bit like you weren’t acting, my son.” A tall, gruff man emerges from his hiding spot with his troops, kicking Woohyun’s now limp body like a rag doll with his steel army boots. “But I guess it is indeed convincing. Do not make the same mistakes this one made.”

 

Sunggyu quickly bows to his father to hide his tears. “I apologize, Father. I will try harder next time.” This was far from the first time Sunggyu had brought out Acts of Affection from important members of enemy clans to strengthen the future of the Kim clan.

 

“I’m expecting this one’s trial to be tomorrow morning. His Love hormones will most likely still be active, and with that and the Embrace against him, he will be executed. The poisons in his bloodstream will eventually kill him otherwise. There is no more future for the Nam clan.” The burly man recalls his troops and begins to make his way toward the flawlessly camouflaged tank in the small grass field behind them. He motions for two of his troops to carry Woohyun’s body into the war vehicle.

 

“I really loved you, Woohyun.” Sunggyu whispers hoarsely, cold tears streaming down his pink cheeks. “When I said I loved you, I meant it this time. You were special.”

 

“Walk home, my son. And quick. Do not miss Meditation Time.” Sunggyu’s father calls out behind him as the engine of the tank roars.

 

What is the point of walking home when he has nothing more to live for?

 

“The balance,” he solemnly murmurs as he plays with the ring that Woohyun had placed in his hands just a few moments ago during their embrace. “I loved him and he loved me. We were in balance.”

 

Sunggyu clenches his fist. he knows what he must do. Sunggyu dashes in front of the tank.

 

“Father, I have killed my own lover,” he yells, and with shaking hands, Sunggyu holds the poison dart that had stabbed Woohyun between his dainty fingers. “And now, it is time for me to face my destiny.”

 

He sees his father frown. “Sunggyu, what kind of nonsense are you spouting? You? In love?”

 

He feels a prick in his leg and finds the world spinning. Giddily, he giggles.

 

“I’m coming, Woohyun. It’s not right for me to live and you to die when we both loved.” Sunggyu runs, away from his father, away from the world, away from anything but Woohyun. The forest is dark, and he hopes that the poison will consume his before they find him.

 

“This is my fate,” though the world is slipping from his fingers and his father’s voice echoes in the distance, he does not stop. “Not to be loyal to my clan or to be executed because of a crime,”

 

Sunggyu hears his father’s voice no longer as the world blurs around his.

 

“But to die at the mercy of my own emotions.”

 

\---

 

 

Epilogue

 

He opens his eyes.

 

He sees nothing but bright light.

 

He is breathing.

 

Sunggyu stands up from the cloudlike ground he had been lying on. The white field stretches in all directions with nothing in sight but field.

 

Taking a random direction, Sunggyu heads off, hoping to find something, anything. In a field of nothing but himself, he hopes to find anything.

 

He wonders where Woohyun is right now.

 

An hour must have passed with him walking in the dreamy field of white when he decides he needs a break.

 

He sits.

 

He waits, for anything to happen. For someone to rescue him from the silence of the empty field.

 

He realizes he is not alone when he is shaken awake by soft hands.

 

His soft hands.

 

“Woohyun,” Sunggyu whispers, tears already beginning to form at his eyes.

 

Woohyun smiles.

 

“You really meant it when you said you loved me.”

 

Sunggyu tries to smile.

 

“You said you wanted to spend your entire life with me, right? Sunggyu?”

 

Woohyun’s eyes are full of affection.

 

“I’m so sorry, Woohyun, I was forced to do it, I didn’t want to, and I tried to warn you but I just-”

 

Woohyun places a finger on Sunggyu’s lips, just like Sunggyu had done back when they were both alive.

 

“It’s okay.”

 

Sunggyu looks up at the boy’s caring face.

 

“I love you.”

 

They hug for the second time, this time with nothing to hurt them.

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda wrote this for my Psychology class because I'm actual infinite trash :~) except I didn't include the epilogue when I handed it in because it didn't relate to the whole theme thing and because I hate when fanfictions have sad endings I decided that I needed to include it?? The criteria was that this had to be a 3 page short story that had two perspectives of different psychologists/philosophies integrated into the plot. I incorporated were Sigmund Freud and Daoism!
> 
> Sigmund Freud's research was about the Id, Super-Ego, and the Ego. The Id is your desire, what you want deep down, your subconscious. In this story, it would be Sunggyu wanting to fall in love with Woohyun and NOT seducing/killing him. The Super-Ego is what society thinks you should do/what you should really be doing. In this story, it may seem a little weird but because of the circumstances, the Super-Ego is Sunggyu wanting to follow his father's orders and killing Woohyun to rid the world of love and affection. The Ego is the part of you that balances the Id and the Super-Ego, and it's the thing that you actually end up doing. So since Sunggyu feels guilty for killing Woohyun since he was in the wrong (by loving Woohyun back) as well, he kills himself.
> 
> If that was confusing, here's a few examples of Id/Super-Ego/Ego:
> 
> Sungyeol is on a diet but he sees a chocolate bar in the supermarket!  
> Id: *Buys chocolate bar and eats it all in one day*  
> Super-Ego: *Doesn't buy chocolate*  
> Ego: *buys chocolate and has one piece per day*
> 
> Dongwoo sees a homeless man begging for money but he only has enough money for his own lunch.  
> Id: *doesn't give money to homeless man*  
> Super-Ego: *gives all his money to homeless man and starves*  
> Ego: *gives part of money to homeless man and has a small snack instead of lunch*
> 
> The Daoism part, to be honest, I tried really hard to fit in, since Daoism deals with balance and things like that. I tried to say that since Sunggyu 'killed' Woohyun, he had to die too to match the balance of the world (eye for an eye??) Unfortunately, I only know a lot about Freud and not a lot about Daoism so that didn't really work out well...
> 
> So in conclusion, I suck at writing (: sorry for disappointing y'all!! (originally posted on aff as shineevee21)


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